Tag Archive - Relationships

It’s about the relationship

October 26, 2011 in Weekly Email with 0 Comments

It’s all about the relationships! Relationships bring us our greatest joys. They also bring us our greatest challenges. The more intimate the relationship the greater the joys and the greater the challenges.

That is why it is sometimes easier to get along with a perfect stranger than it is to get along with a family member. But the relationship with the stranger is never going to bring the satisfaction the relationship with the family member or close friend will bring.

A healthy relationship will have conflict and tension. If there is no conflict in a relationship, that may be a sign of trouble. It may signal that communication is not taking place. It may show that instead of becoming a deeper and more intimate relationship, the relationship is becoming more and more superficial.

Relationships are hard. That is why some shy away from deep relationships. We want the joys that come with a deep and enduring relationship, but we don’t want the pain. It is easier to hop from one marriage to the next, one friendship to the next, or one church to the next. But we never go deep. We have people around us, but we are living in isolation of others. We don’t want to get too close out of fear of what may be revealed in us or in the other person.

God created us for relationships. Without deep and intimate relationships there will be something missing in your life. Yes, it takes time. It takes effort. There may be pain, but it is so worth it. That is why part of our vision at Lord of Life is to connect people with each other. We want everything for you, that God wants for you.

Another thing about relationships is Jesus wants a relationship with you. This is the most important relationship. He wants you to know him and to be known by him.

Many in this world don’t really want a relationship with Jesus. They would rather have a checklist. Give me 5 things to do that I can check off to make sure I am right with God and leave it at that. Go to church, pray a prayer, volunteer to serve a meal at the soup kitchen, give an offering for a missionary, and help out as an usher from time to time. That is five easy things I can do. But it doesn’t necessarily mean I have a relationship with Jesus.

We can have religion without a relationship, but this is not a good thing. Religion is about doing for God the bare minimum that is necessary. It is like being an employee of a large corporation. There is no relationship with the CEO. The orders come down from on top for us to follow. But that is not what God desires. We wants to know you as family and friend. Jesus doesn’t say “do what I tell you.” He says, “come follow me.”

The Apostle Paul puts it well when he talks about the type of relationship he desires to have with Jesus:

Philippians 3:8 (NLT) 8 Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ.

He goes on to say:

Philippians 3:10–11 (NLT) 10 I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, 11 so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead!

I want to know Jesus in this way. Jesus wants to know you in this way. Jesus wants the relationship with you because he want more for you. And that is why the primary emphasis of our vision at Lord of Life is to connect people with Jesus. There is nothing greater we could do that to point ourselves and others to Him.

So as I leave you this week, I would like you to consider just one thing you can do that will better connect you with Jesus or another person. And don’t wait. Do it now! Go deep. Experience all God wants for you.

Dealing with Difficult People

October 24, 2011 in Sermons with 0 Comments

Download Audio

The story of David and Absalom is a tragic story. It is a story that ends badly. Unfortunately, there are difficult situations which arise when we deal with the people. People can be difficult. Oftentimes the most difficult people to deal with are the people in our own family. We know these people the best. We know the good better than anyone else. We also know the bad better than anyone else.

In this message we discuss how to deal with difficult people as we learn from the story of David and Absalom. Our reading for the day is 2 Samuel 15:1-12.

Seeing the Best in Others

June 17, 2011 in Weekly Email with 1 Comment

Last Sunday I shared about celebrating the success of others. There is plenty of God’s favor to go around. He is a big God. There is no reason to be jealous when someone else appears to be getting all the recognition. If our heart is on the kingdom, we will celebrate kingdom success no matter who gets the credit. If our heart is on ourselves we will be jealous and envious of others.

On a similar note, along with celebrating the success of others, we can believe the best in others as well. It is easy to see the fault and flaws of others. Faith in God gives us the ability past the faults and flaws and to see the potential in that person to be used by God.

When Paul came to Jerusalem after his conversion he was looked upon with suspicion (see Acts 9:26-28). Everyone saw what he had been. He had persecuted Christians. He had been an evil man. But God changed his heart on the road to Damascus. Yet, it was not the changed heart most people saw in Paul. They still saw the old Saul, who was out to destroy the Christians. It was only Barnabas who could see past that with the eyes of faith to see the great potential in this man.

I can almost see it now how the Christians in Jerusalem were whispering how this man Paul was up to no good. They talked among themselves how they believe he was infiltrating their ranks so that he could destroy the movement. Paul was looked upon with suspicion and people did not want much to do with Paul. I imagine the more people talked about it, the more the perception seemed to become reality. In the midst of all this Barnabas defended Paul when no one else did. He knew there was a different story to tell than the one that was being told.

As believers we are called to defend one another and stand up for the reputation of those doing the things of God. It is clear that those who are serving the Lord in the greatest ways are often the biggest targets for criticism and even hatred. The first thing we agree to on our membership covenant at Lord of Life is the refusal to gossip. Not only do we refuse to gossip but we will confront it and call it out when others participate in it. It has no place in the church.

The moral of the story is to see the best in others even when everyone else only sees the worst. It is much easier to be a critic especially when everyone around us is being a critic. Critics love company. Your role is when others are the critic you be the one to see the potential in the other person to be used by God. After all, it is God who sees the potential in you to be used by him in spite of all your own flaws. He is your biggest cheerleader and there are many who need you to be their cheerleader.

On Membership (Part 2)

February 17, 2011 in Posts, Weekly Email with 3 Comments

We continue from last week our discussion of church membership. I received several emails in reply to last week’s message. I very much appreciate your thoughts and encourage you to keep sending them. But one thing additional thing I would encourage you to do is submit your reply by hitting the comments link in this message. By doing so you will be able to share your thoughts with more than just me, but will be able to share your insights with anyone who might happen upon my blog.

When we think of church membership from a worldly viewpoint, there are really only two benefits. In our church constitution, membership gives you the right to vote at one of our voters’ meetings and qualifies you to hold elective office. Other than that, there is not much that church membership affords you from the world’s perspective. On the surface, it would not hold much interest for me to join a church. Voters’ meetings are not the most exciting events to attend and holding elected office in the church is not a position many aspire to.

But that is the world’s perspective. When a person seeks to join a church, the question of how it benefits me becomes a mute point. The point in of becoming a member is not about how it will benefit me, but is about fulfilling my purpose and my calling. If there is is a benefit, the benefit is being in the position God wants me to be.

This is what I was created for. I was created to be a part of something that is bigger than myself. I was created to do kingdom of God work. We were not created to live out our faith in isolation of others, but to join together. There are many commands in the Scripture that are impossible fulfill without a commitment to a local Christian community of faith.

Here are just a few examples:

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:26

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit – just as you were called to one hope when you were called – one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. Ephesians 4:2-6

So it is with you. Since you are eager to have spiritual gifts, try to excel in gifts that build up the church. 1 Corinthians 14:12

Another important part of being a church member is being afforded spiritual protection. What we miss in our English Bible translations is many of God’s promises to his people are spoken with “you” in the plural sense. In other words these promises are not given to individual Christians, but to the church.

Think about Romans 8. It says here that in all things “we” are more than conquerors. It does not say I am more than a conquerer. It does not say you are more than a conqueror. It was “we” are more than conquerors. In other words I am not more than a conqueror when I stand alone. It is only when we stand together that nothing that will separate “us” from the love of God.

Do you see where I am going? While God’s does give promises to us as individuals, his fuller promises are found within the community. This is why membership is important. So in the end, maybe there are more benefits than just being able to vote and hold office, but they are not worldly benefits. They are kingdom benefits.

On Membership (Part 1)

February 10, 2011 in Weekly Email with 2 Comments

As I prepare for the next New Member Orientation on March 13 I have been thinking about what it means to be a member of Lord of Life, or of any church for that matter. Over the next couple of weeks I would like to share with you some of these thoughts as you potentially consider participating in the New Member Orientation or give consideration to the covenant you have already made when you became a member of the church.

One thing I must start of by making clear, the purpose of the church is not to make members. When Jesus gave the great commission he did not say go make members of every nation. He said go and make disciples.

With that said, membership plays an important role in the process of making disciples. Membership is a covenant that individuals enter into together with each other. It is a commitment to work together, to support one another, and to suffer for the sake of Jesus’ kingdom side by side. It is much like a marriage commitment. The church is not perfect in the same way you are not perfect. Each has its faults and blemishes, but we are called to practice grace.

Membership is about being part of the body as described in 1 Corinthians 12. There is no one part of the body that is more important than the other. The hand cannot say to the foot, “I don’t need you.” The foot cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” All are equal in importance. Some parts do more of the thinking. Other parts do more of the lifting. But each part is needed if the body is to function effectively. When one part of the body hurts, all parts suffer. When one part celebrates, all parts are filled with joy.

Part of the implication in this is that when I fail, we fail. When we fail, I fail. When I win, we win. When we win, I win. We are in this together. I am part of the church, so when I am critical towards the church or another member in the church, I am critical towards myself. In much the same way that when the “me” becomes “we” in marriage, the “me” becomes “we” when I become part of the church.

The church in America (Lord of Life included) has too much of an us and them mentality. It is sad we see so much divorce in regards to church membership. Often the same problems that affect our marriages are the same problems that affect the commitments we made when we entered into the covenant relationship with the church. There is too much “me” and not enough “we.” In much the same way we move from spouse to spouse, we move church to church, and we see a shift away from “commitment” to what makes us happy.

It is not the way God intended it to be. He did not intend for us to go to church, but to be the church. He has called us to be the church in action. We share the burden and the responsibility of bringing God’s kingdom to earth. This is God’s church. This is our church. Being a member is not about the church making me a better Christian, but about me helping the church better fulfill the great commission and the great commandment. It is not an easy thing to do. There are days when it is difficult to bear with one another in love. There will be times we feel let down and disappointed. There may be times when we are hurt and our hearts are broken. That’s where trust and faith come in to know that God is bigger than anything we face. That’s when we practice forgiveness following the example Jesus gave on the cross. More than anything else, that is when God gives me the opportunity to step forward to stand in the gap and show what it means to be a follower of Jesus.

The Marriage Promise

February 7, 2011 in Posts with 0 Comments

Kicked of a new message series yesterday. Used this video to open my message:

Marriage Promise from onetimeblind on Vimeo.

What would Jesus do in a blizzard?

February 1, 2011 in Weekly Email with 3 Comments

The big news around here is the big blizzard. Everyone is talking about it. It is going to snow and snow a lot. Everything is cancelled. Schools are closed and events have been called off at Lord of Life. It will be a day to snuggle around the fire place and sip hot chocolate. And don’t forget the shoveling. There will be plenty of that, unless of course you have a broken foot.

It got me to thinking, “what would Jesus do in blizzard?” Of course Jesus lived in an environment that was almost tropical. There were no blizzards in Galilee. But nevertheless, it is fun to speculate.

I seem to remember Jesus said something about loving your neighbor. It is times like these when we can practice that love. There are plenty of opportunities to serve others when the snow begins to fly. Seek to be that blessing we are called to be. There are driveways and sidewalks to be shoveled, cars to be dug out and pushed. In times when we often live in isolation of our neighbors, this is one of those opportune times to build those bridges and to connect with them. There are no doubt neighbors in your neighborhood with special needs and would appreciate the extra bit of help with all this snow.

Along with connecting with our neighbors, it is an opportunity to connect with our families. Many of us will have a day at home tomorrow with the kids. Families are often running here and there and everywhere. I know at Lord of Life we had a whole bunch of activities scheduled. But for many of us we will be at home with no place to go. What a great opportunity to spend time with our spouses and our children and to build those relationships. As inconvenient as the snowstorm may be, there can be some hidden blessings. Make sure to give God thanks for the downtime along with the extra time to spend with family. Use this storm as an opportunity to create some memories that will last for years to come.

In the end we don’t need to speculate what Jesus would do in a blizzard. We get to see what he does. We recognize that we are his hands and we are his feet. As the church we get to be Jesus for others. We represent him as his people. The church building may be closed tomorrow, but the church will scattered all over the Fox Valley. Let’s be the blessing and represent the Savior wherever we may be in a way that would make him proud.

A Family Miracle

January 27, 2011 in Weekly Email with 0 Comments

We are a nation in crisis. There is no doubt we have all heard about the financial crisis, but what lies underneath the financial crisis is a family crisis. No doubt the financial crisis has put extra stress on families and has exposed the shifting foundation upon which many marriages have been built. 5 out of every 10 marriages today end in divorce court, long before death do us part. The scary thing is this statistic applies to both Christian and non-Christian couples alike. It does not have to be this way.

It is a topic that I believe is important to address over the month of February (don’t forget Valentine’s Day is February 14). I believe it is important to address what God has to say about marriages and families. We will look to the Bible to hear that word of instruction.

I know there is hurt that exists within many marriages in our community and within our church family as well. It is time we stop looking at man made solutions to our problems and trust in God’s ability to bring the healing that only he can bring. Before anything else, we go to him in prayer. We are foolish to think we are going to make our marriages and families better on our own. It will start with God. Let’s humbly go to him in prayer and ask him first what he has to say about our families. Then let’s go to him in behalf of the families in our communities. Let’s pray for harmony between husbands and wives. Let’s pray for parents to nurture their children in the God’s ways. Let’s pray for children to honor their fathers and mothers. Let’s pray that husbands would love their wives as Christ loves the church and for wives to honor their husbands as the heads of the house. Let’s pray for marriages that are on the brink of divorce to be brought back. Let’s pray for a family miracle because if it’s going to happen it is God who will make it happen.

I want to ask a couple of favors of you as we prepare to begin this message series on February 6. First is to start praying. Start praying about the things that I mentioned above. Pray for the things that will be shared in this message series to have a lasting impact and that it will be an incredible blessing to so many. Pray that hope will come those families living in hopelessness. Pray for a mighty move of God to be sparked.

Second, I would ask that you would invite others to come and to hear and to participate in this message series. It is a message I am sure that many need to hear and that there is a potential for many to be blessed by it. Help us get the word out.

Finally, be open. Come with an open mind and an open heart. If you are feeling that the obstacles are too great. Maybe you feel as if your relationship is too far gone. Just give God a chance. Nothing is impossible for him.

The Power of Negativity

January 11, 2011 in Weekly Email with 2 Comments

Have you ever thought about the power of negativity? Negative is the opposite of positive and has a powerful pull. Negative criticism will often stick much more in your mind than positive words of affirmation. As a pastor I will hear over and over the incredible stories of how God is working in the lives of his people, but there will be that one story without the happy ending that will occupy my thoughts and discourage my spirit. Negativity just has its way of standing out. It is a lot easier to become discouraged than it is to be encouraged.

It works the other way as well. I recognize it is important to be careful with the words I speak to others. Yes, there are times when you need to speak the truth in love to another, but you earn the right to do so by being a source of encouragement and affirmation. In Hebrews 10:25 it says let us encourage one another and even more so now as the day of the Lord’s return comes near.

The power of the negative is huge. But here is the thing: our God is is greater. Yes, we will face negativity in this life, but God has not left us without hope. Consider the following as you encounter negativity in your life.

1) Trust in Jesus. Jesus says in this world you will have trouble. In other words, we will face negativity. But that is not the end of the story. He goes on to say, “take heart for I have overcome.” (John 16:33) Jesus will prevail and you will prevail when you put your life in his hands and live obedient.

2) Remember the most important person to please is God. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says or thinks about you. What matters is what God says and thinks. This is why God’s Word says: “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” Colossians 3:23-24

3) Occupy your mind with God’s Word. In Philippians 3:8, the Message Translation, says, “Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.”

Consider the following quote from Pastor David Platt in his book Radical: “The battle is intense, and it cannot be fought with little thoughts in a daily devotional or petty ideas from a preacher on Sunday. It certainly can’t be fought with minds numbed by the constant drivel of entertainment on television, DVDs, video games, and the Internet. If you and I are going to penetrate our culture and the cultures of the world with the gospel, we desperately need minds saturated with God’s Word.”

I love that thought. Saturate your mind with God’s Word. Anything less will allow the negativity to creep in and eventually overwhelm your thoughts.

4) Pray! Too many of us spend so much more time worrying than we do praying. We let the negative thoughts churn and churn in our minds without ever asking God what he has to say about it. Over the next few weeks I will be talking about the Sermon on the Mount on Sunday mornings. In this sermon Jesus says, “Do not worry.” The reason we worry is because we do not ask. The Apostle Peter would later write cast your cares on him because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)

5) This is an important point that is often overlooked – Ask who are you running with? Do you associate with people who are negative? Or do you run with people who are encouraging? Do the people you associate with constantly criticize others and rarely have anything good to say about anyone or anything else? I have been among Christians who when they gather will do nothing other than complain about their church and individuals in the church. This is neither healthy nor helpful. When we hang around individuals who are constantly negative it will only bring us down.

6) With that said, consider the words you speak. Choose your words carefully. Other people are not the enemy. Satan is! Do you speak well of others? Are you a source of criticism or of encouragement? If you don’t have something good to say about someone, it is probably best not to say it at all. Be slow to anger and slow to speak. Before condemning others, pray for them. Jesus says, “I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44) When you start praying for someone, the negative feelings you have towards that person will start to be replaced with love, compassion, and generosity.

7) Know that from out of the negative God will do something incredibly positive in your life. Some of the most incredible movements of God are born out of the bleakest of circumstances. In Isaiah 6 we read about the calling of Isaiah. We read King Uzziah had died. Uzziah had suffered the judgment of God and died because of his spiritual failings. What was more was the people Isaiah lived among were morally bankrupt. They had nothing going for them. In many ways Isaiah was spinning his wheels. His ministry was less than effective with little impact upon the people around him. Next, God appears before Isaiah in the temple and all Isaiah can say is “I am ruined.” Not a good thing. Yet, it is in this bleakest of moments when Isaiah was at his lowest that God would revive Isaiah’s ministry and make him and a powerful voice of wisdom from on high. God will use negative events and circumstances to reveal himself in a might way.

8) Learn from criticism. Our default is to arbitrarily reject criticism directed towards us, but then we allow it to eat away at us on the inside. I hold a motto that is to be slow to take offense. We too easily become offended at what other people might say to us or about us. Rarely does the other person intend to give offense that we think they were out to give. Receive criticism graciously. No matter how off based the criticism might be there is usually some element of truth in it from which we can learn.

9) Put on your armor (see Ephesians 6). Know that there is a battle that is going on. Fighting negativity is not an easy thing. Satan is the great naysayer. He is out to convince you that you are not good enough, not smart enough, not talented enough, and beyond hope. He will use negativity to bring you down. If you desire to be a force for the good of God, there will be spiritual powers and authorities at work to discourage you and hinder your work. That you can be sure of.

So I leave you with the words of the Apostle Paul as an encouragement to be strong: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

A 2011 Preview

December 23, 2010 in Uncategorized with 2 Comments

Here are two new message series we have coming up during January and February at Lord of Life. In January we will take a look at the “Greatest Sermon Ever.” It is the Sermon on the Mount which is found in Matthew 7-9.

The second message series which will begin in February is called “A Family Miracle.” This series will be focused on marriages and families. Many families are going through a rough time right now and can use some hope and healing. We will look to speak God’s Word into the home.

Page 1 of 212»