Tag Archive - Absalom

Dealing with Difficult People

October 24, 2011 in Sermons with 0 Comments

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The story of David and Absalom is a tragic story. It is a story that ends badly. Unfortunately, there are difficult situations which arise when we deal with the people. People can be difficult. Oftentimes the most difficult people to deal with are the people in our own family. We know these people the best. We know the good better than anyone else. We also know the bad better than anyone else.

In this message we discuss how to deal with difficult people as we learn from the story of David and Absalom. Our reading for the day is 2 Samuel 15:1-12.

Daily David, Week 8, Day 5

October 21, 2011 in David with 0 Comments

The story of David and Absalom ends tragically. The end of the story is recorded in [2 Samuel 18-19](http://biblia.com/books/nlt/2Sam18]. In this story Absalom becomes the third son of David to die after he committed the sin with Bathsheba.

How does Absalom’s delay benefit David (18:1-3)?

David was able to rally his troops and to gather his men. He was able to organize his army and prepare for a battle with Absalom’s men.

Why did David order for Absalom’s life to be spared (18:5)?

Absalom was David’s son. David wanted to believe that this could all turn out well. That everything that was broken could be restored. He did not want to believe what was happening and what Absalom had done. It was too much for him to bear the death of another son after he had already lost two.

What was the result of Absalom’s selfish play for the throne and lust for power (18:7,14-15)?

Absalom was troops were beaten. 20,000 men lost their lives. Absalom himself was killed by Joab, the commander of David’s army.

Why do you think Joab was able to so easily disregard David’s order not to kill Absalom and even reprimand David (18:14-15; 19:1-8)?

Joab knew that Absalom could not live if David was going to be king. It was either Absalom who would die or David who would die. Joab was a harsh man. He took matters into his own hands. David had allowed Joab to get away with so much in the past. If David had not stood up to Joab in the past, he was not going to stand up to Joab now. Joab had done all the dirty work that David was not willing to do. An example was the killing of Uriah the Hittite. David sent the command for Joab to carry out the order. I am sure Joab had enough dirt on David that Joab knew he was safe.

Why was David so shook up over Absalom’s death (18:33)?

David’s world was crashing in down around him. He had got this throne back and peace was restored, but it was a tremendous cost. David wept over the turmoil that he caused for the kingdom and for his family.

Most of chapter 19 deals with the aftermath of Absalom’s revolt. Describe the relationship between justice and forgiveness. How are both practiced in this chapter?

David practices mercy and forgiveness. There were those who had been loyal to him during this difficult time. David rewards them for their loyalty. At the same time there were also those who had not been loyal and had even sought to take advantage of David in this situation. But David practices mercy. He knew that punishing them would have done no good and was not in the best interest of the kingdom or his throne. Although, I am sure he had a personal grudge against Shimei.

Daily David, Week 8, Day 4

October 20, 2011 in David with 0 Comments

In 2 Samuel 16-17

Who was Ziba (16:1; see 2 Samuel 9:1-13)? Mephibosheth?

Ziba was the servant of Mephibosheth. David had put Ziba in charge of all Mephibosheth’s property. Mephibosheth was a son of Jonathan, son of Saul and friend of David. David had made a promise to Jonathan that he would not destroy his family. David desired to honor Mephibosheth and so he provided for Mephibosheth and had him live in his royal palace.

What is Ziba’s motive in this story (16:1-4)?

Ziba’s motive was to acquire Mephibosheth’s property. He saw an opportunity in this moment.

Why is it easy to taunt, criticize, ridicule someone when they are down? Is it the godly response to gloat over someone else’s misfortune? How about the misfortune of our enemy?

It is much easier to be a part of the crowd than to go against the crowd. We see in the world of celebrities that when one of these celebrities is going through a rough patch, it is easy for the world to pile on. It is dangerous to gloat over someone’s misfortune because the same misfortune might be lying just around the corner for us. God calls us to encourage those who are down and to speak hope into their lives. This is hard to do when it comes to our enemies. Jesus teaches us to pray for their well-being.

Compare David’s response to Abashai (16:9-10) to that of Jesus’ response to Peter in the Garden of Gethsemane (John 18:10-11)?

David has a response of mercy. He does not have Abashai killed because it would do no good. It would only cause more pain. It would have been easy for David or Jesus to have desired to have harm done to those who insulted them. But instead their response is one of grace.

Where did Ahithophel’s advice come from (16:23)? Why is Ahithophel’s advice confused (see 1 Corinthians 1:18-31)?

Ahithophel’s advice seemed like it came directly from the Lord. But not everything that appears to be from God, is from God. Satan is the great deceiver. He does not come to us as the prince of darkness, but clothed as the prince of light. We must carefully seek and discern that which is from the Lord and that which is not. Do not take anything for granted no matter who it is from.

Ahithophel’s wisdom is confused because it is not from the Lord. If it had been from the Lord, Ahithophel would have advised Absalom to make peace with his father and to submit to the king rather than claim the throne for himself. Absalom was not the rightful king.

In 1 Corinthians 1, Paul tells us that God will destroy the wisdom of the wise and discard the intelligence of the intelligent. It cannot stand in the face of God’s wisdom.

Why does Ahithophel commit suicide (17:23)? Does his reaction seem extreme?

He commits suicide because he knows how this is going to end. He likely understood that he was going up against God and that was not a battle he was going to win. He likely did this out of shame that he could not bear to face the consequences of his actions.

His action does seem a bit extreme. But in the same way, the consequences of our sin are extreme. They exact a heavy burden. The full extent we will not fully realize until the final day of judgment.

Who do you seek advice from? Is it godly advice or worldly advice you are receiving? What will happen if you follow the right advice? What will happen if you follow the wrong advice? How do you determine between the right and the wrong advice?

Too often I do not seek advice or wisdom. I do what I think is best. This is a bad mistake. God has given wisdom as a gift. There are things we can learn from believers and non-believers alike. But above all, we seek wisdom that is godly. There is nothing better for seeking wisdom than turning to the Word of the Lord in the Scriptures.

When we follow wise advice we will prosper. When we follow ungodly advice we may prosper for a time, but that prosperity will not last. When determining right from wrong the only way to know is to hear from the Lord. This takes time and it takes effort.

Daily David, Week 8, Day 3

October 19, 2011 in David with 0 Comments

David had been king of Israel. Now today in 2 Samuel 15, David’s son, Absalom, steals the throne from his father. David is on the run once again, just like in the days of Saul. This is not the life David wanted to go back to. In a second reading from Psalm 3 we get a peek into David’s mind and heart during this difficult time.

What is Absalom’s sin in verses 2 Samuel 15:1-3? What do you think led him to this sin? What did Absalom seek to serve by “helping” the people who came to him?

David was the king and Absalom undermines David’s authority. Absalom exploits a weakness in David’s administration. We are commanded in God’s Word to honor our father and mother. David was Absalom’s father, but he is not honoring his father. We are also called to talk well of others and to put the best construction on everything. What Absalom is doing here is making himself look good at his father’s expense. Beware anytime you start to make yourself look good by making someone else look bad.

What led to this sin was anger towards his father. There was never a proper reconciliation between David and Absalom. Over time the bitterness wore on Absalom.

Absalom was serving himself in helping these people who came to him. He was doing this to gain support for himself while at the same time discouraging them to support his father.

Why did Absalom wait four years until he made his play for the throne (15:7-10)?

Absalom waited until the time was right. He waited until he was in a position of strength. There were enough people who had been tainted by his ploy to gain support against his father.

Why do you think David did not realize what was happening until it was too late (15:13)?

Absalom was subtle and subversive. David did not expect this to happen. David was likely happy for what Absalom was doing not realizing that Absalom was talking behind his back. This was a form of gossip and the one who is being gossiped about is usually the last person to know.

As an official of the king, how might you have responded to David in this situation (15:15)? Would you have followed David into the wilderness? How would you characterize these officials’ response?

I would like to say I would have supported David. That I would have seen past the ploy of Absalom and his appearing to do “good” for personal gain. David was the one who had been appointed King by God, not Absalom. This is a perfect example of how the majority is not always right. But it is much easier to go with with the flow than it is to go against the flow.

The response of David’s officials was a response of loyalty. They are to be commended for sticking with David in both the good and the bad times.

Why does David weep as he goes up the Mt of Olives (15:30)? Why does Jesus weep upon the Mt of Olives (see Luke 19:41-44)?

David weeps because he must flee from the city. He weeps because he has been put back on the run again. He would have thought these days were behind him. He did not want to go back to the wilderness, but that was where God was taking him. It was a hard thing to do. But all this went back to that one fateful night with Bathsheba. I am sure David would have loved to have taken that moment back right now.

Jesus weeped for the city of Jerusalem in a much different way. Jesus weeps as he comes to the city. He weeps that the people of the city had not followed the Lord, but had gone their own way. He weeps that the city and the temple would be destroyed by the Romans in a few short years.

Why does this situation look so bleak (Psalm 3:1-2)?

David writes he has so many enemies. Often times we are so overwhelmed by so many things. It is not just one things that comes at us. Trouble likes to come in many ways at many times.

Also, from the outside it seems like God has abandoned him. God is nowhere to be found. God is not there to help him out.

Where does David express confidence in the conflict (3:3-4)?

David finds his help in the Lord. David knows the Lord is there. He knows that he will help him out. Things are difficult, but it is not anything the Lord cannot handle.

When conflict arises, how do you respond? How would God have you respond?

We respond in different ways. Sometimes we become angry and combative. Others times we my turn inward and quiet. We might be filled with fear or anxiety. But it is in these moments we grow closer to the Lord than ever before. Turn to him in his Word, in prayer, and in worship. Let God speak confidence and faith into you. Let his Spirit guide your decisions with gentleness and kindness.

Daily David, Week 8, Day 2

October 18, 2011 in David with 0 Comments

David’s family is in turmoil. A daughter has been raped by her brother. Then that brother was killed by another brother. The brother who killed his other brother then flees in exile. The situation is nothing short of a mess. David is left to pick up the pieces. However, instead of doing something about all of this, David does nothing. That is where we pick up the story in 2 Samuel 14.

Whose best interest is Joab serving? Absalom? David? Himself (14:1-3)?

The text reads that Joab realized how much the king longed to see Absalom. He is seems to be serving the kings interest. But at the same time Joab realizes that what is best for David is also best for Joab.

Even though the woman was deceptive towards David, why does avoid still concede (15:19-21)?

David knew she was right. She had exposed David’s hypocrisy.

Why is the reconciliation between David and Absalom not a full reconciliation (14:23-24)? Why do you think David did not allow Absalom back into his house?

Even though Absalom came back to Jerusalem, he did not see the king. David did not allow Absalom into his presence. A full reconciliation would have brought them together.

We might say that Absalom had to set a fire under Joab to get his attention (14:28-32). Why is it difficult to respond to the needs of others or for them to get our attention?

Most of the time we are focused on self. We don’t see the need or the hurt in others because we are too preoccupied with our own hurt and need.

Do you have disputes in your family? How might you be a catalyst to bring restoration and reconciliation?

Every family has disputes. We can simply wait around for others to say they are sorry, but we are going to wait for a long time. God did not wait for us to make peace with him, rather he sent Jesus to make peace with us. Jesus said blessed are the peace-makers. As followers of Jesus our calling is to be the ones to make the first step to make peace.

Daily David, Week 8, Day 1

October 17, 2011 in David with 0 Comments

Welcome to week 8 of our David study. Today’s reading is 2 Samuel 13.

Who is the mother to Amnon (2 Samuel 3:2)? Who is the mother to Absalom and Tamar (2 Samuel 3:2)? Who was first in line for the throne?

Amnon was the eldest son of David. His mother was Ahinoam of Jezreel. This made Amnon first in line for the throne after David died. Absalom and Tamar’s mother was Maacah who was a princess, the daughter of Talmai, king of Geshur. David had likely married Maacah to form a political alliance.

What is David’s response to Amnon’s misdeed (13:21)? What is missing about David’s response? How are the sins of the father visited upon his children?

It says that David was angry. However, David curiously takes no action. There is bitterness that rises up in David’s family and now David fails to address it. We can point back at the story of David and Bathsheba. David had committed a sexual sin. Now his son does the same. David likely felt guilty about his sin. He fails to confront his son on this matter. I wonder if he failed to confront his son because he did not want to look like a hypocrite.

When the prophet Nathan confronted David about David’s sin with Bathsheba, Nathan told a parable of a rich man who stole a poor man’s sheep. David demanded the rich man must pay the poor man with four sheep for his sin. What happens to David’s sheep (children) in this story?

David would have his daughter raped. His son Amnon would be murdered. Later on Absalom would be killed by Joab. David’s family is in crisis.

David was a great military leader and politician. Where is David’s leadership lacking

His leadership is lacking in his own family. There is a reason that the Apostle Paul says a leader should be the husband of but one wife. David had married many women. He might have been able to manage the kingdom brilliantly. But his family was an overwhelming task. David had taken on more than he could handle to be a good father and husband.

If you were David, how might you have responded differently?

I am not sure I can say I would have responded differently. I am not in David’s shoes. It is always easy to think we know how we would have responded in the situation before we get in the situation. I would like to believe that I would have been assertive and have properly disciplined my children.

When our children stumble, what is our role as parents?

Our role is to speak the truth in love. Our role is to properly discipline our children so that they learn responsibility and right from wrong. There is a temptation to become our children’s best friends. But we are not their best friends. We are their parents. We look to guide them and mentor them to be godly adults.

David, Week 8 Study Guide

October 17, 2011 in David with 0 Comments

October 17-23

Dealing with Difficult People

Memory Verse:

Galatians 6:7–8 (NLT) 7 Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. 8 Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit.

Day 1

2 Samuel 13

Who is the mother to Amnon (2 Samuel 3:2)? Who is the mother to Absalom and Tamar (2 Samuel 3:2)? Who was first in line for the throne?

What is David’s response to Amnon’s misdeed (13:21)? What is missing about David’s response? How are the sins of the father visited upon his children?

When the prophet Nathan confronted David about David’s sin with Bathsheba, Nathan told a parable of a rich man who stole a poor man’s sheep. David demanded the rich man must pay the poor man with four sheep for his sin. What happens to David’s sheep (children) in this story?

David was a great military leader and politician. Where is David’s leadership lacking?

If you were David, how might you have responded differently?

When our children stumble, what is our role as parents?

Day 2

2 Samuel 14

Whose best interest is Joab serving? Absalom? David? Himself (14:1-3)?

Even though the woman was deceptive towards David, why does avoid still concede (15:19-21)?

Why is the reconciliation between David and Absalom not a full reconciliation (14:23-24)? Why do you think David did not allow Absalom back into his house?

We might say that Absalom had to set a fire under Joab to get his attention (14:28-32). Why is it difficult to respond to the needs of others or for them to get our attention?

Do you have disputes in your family? How might you be a catalyst to bring restoration and reconciliation?

Day 3

2 Samuel 15, Psalm 3

What is Absalom’s sin in verses 2 Samuel 15:1-3? What do you think led him to this sin? What did Absalom seek to serve by “helping” the people who came to him?

Why did Absalom wait four years until he made his play for the throne (15:7-10)?

Why do you think David did not realize what was happening until it was too late (15:13)?

As an official of the king, how might you have responded to David in this situation (15:15)? Would you have followed David into the wilderness? How would you characterize these officials’ response?

Why does David weep as he goes up the Mt of Olives (15:30)? Why does Jesus weep upon the Mt of Olives (see Luke 19:41-44)?

Why does this situation look so bleak (Psalm 3:1-2)?

Where does David express confidence in the conflict (3:3-4)?

When conflict arises, how do you respond? How would God have you respond?

Day 4

2 Samuel 16-17

Who was Ziba (16:1; see 2 Samuel 9:1-13)? Mephibosheth?

What is Ziba’s motive in this story (16:1-4)?

Why is it easy to taunt, criticize, ridicule someone when they are down? Is it the godly response to gloat over someone else’s misfortune? How about the misfortune of our enemy?

Compare David’s response to Abashai (16:9-10) to that of Jesus’ response to Peter in the Garden of Gethsemane (John 18:10-11)?

Where did Ahithophel’s advice come from (16:23)? Why is Ahithophel’s advice confused (see 1 Corinthians 1:18-31)?

Why does Ahithophel commit suicide (17:23)? Does his reaction seem extreme?

Who do you seek advice from? Is it godly advice or worldly advice you are receiving? What will happen if you follow the right advice? What will happen if you follow the wrong advice? How do you determine between the right and the wrong advice?

Day 5

2 Samuel 18-19

How does Absalom’s delay benefit David (18:1-3)?

Why did David order for Absalom’s life to be spared (18:5)?

What was the result of Absalom’s selfish play for the throne and lust for power (18:7,14-15)?

Why do you think Joab was able to so easily disregard David’s order not to kill Absalom and even reprimand David (18:14-15; 19:1-8)?

Why was David so shook up over Absalom’s death (18:33)?

Most of chapter 19 deals with the aftermath of Absalom’s revolt. Describe the relationship between justice and forgiveness. How are both practiced in this chapter?