Conflict is a part of the world we live in. It is unfortunate when that conflict occurs between brothers and sisters in Christ, but it does happened. It happened with the disciples, it happened with Paul and Barnabas, and it happens with us today.
Sometimes the conflict gets to a point where we believe it cannot be resolved. We convince ourselves the other party just will not change. We become angry and upset towards them. It is at this point in time when we need to remember the words of Jesus in Luke 6:41 when he says, “Why worry about a speck in your friends eye when you have a log in your own?”
Here is the issue. When we look at the conflict, we tend to diagnose that the problem lies with the other person. No doubt the other party has contributed to the conflict. Jesus is not saying in this verse the other person is without guilt. But when we diagnose that the main problem lies with the other person, we are led to believe the solution lies with the other person as well. And so we wait and demand the other person to rise to the occasion to take responsibility for their actions. We are left paralyzed unable to respond allowing the bitterness to build in our hearts and mind and the conflict grows and we drift further apart.
However, if we listen carefully to Jesus word, we must recognize the solution is not within the other person, but within us. When you have a conflict with another believer you have the answer to the conflict. But you must know that it is not an easy answer. The answer is for you to be the bigger person and to humble yourself. The answer starts with you admitting your fault, your sin, and your blame in the conflict. This is hard. It is much easier to blame the other person for the conflict than it is to admit your own guilt and role in it.
This is not about saying I’m sorry. Saying I’m sorry often amounts to nothing more than saying I’m sorry this had to happen. Rather it is about walking in repentance and taking responsibility for our actions. To make amends for the ways in which we have hurt the other person. To say I am sorry and then not change a thing does not do the trick.
And here is the deal. The other person might not change. They may not say they are sorry. But that is not our goal. We can forgive them though they know not what they do. I remember someone saying something like that!
The motto of the story – don’t wait for the other person to change or you are going to find yourself waiting a long time. The power to resolve the conflict is within you. The Holy Spirit is within you. Don’t pass your calling onto someone else by waiting for someone else to solve your problems. God has given you everything you need and more.
